Do not be confused.  You are your kid’s friend.  By default of being their parent, the one person who is closest to them…you are their friend.  You cannot, however, be their buddy.  That is where the line gets blurred.  You can joke and tease and be involved in their activities and such, be their confidant with their feelings and concerns…but you cannot enable them to make bad choices and say “oh well, the rest of the world does it…”  That is the problem.  So many people see the negative things that others do that they stop caring – kind of like throwing your hands up in the air and giving in or giving up.

We cannot continue doing this or that because Johnnie’s family does it.  Take a look at Johnnie; he is a troubled child.  he is an overly angry child.  He is a withdrawn child.  He has low self-esteem, no confidence.  His actions & bad behavior choices are actually signs that he is begging for adult guidance and supervision.

We need to take back our youth.

It’s hard.  Trust me.  I know.  My son just turned 15.  I swear the aliens abducted him 3 years ago and replaced him with a look alike version whom, most of the time I don’t know who he is.  LOL

I miss my sweet 8, 9, 10 year old little boy who loved me and told me that I was pretty and listened to what I said and respected me.  The good news is, I’ve been told that the aliens do return the original IMPROVED version at about age 20 or so…but what do you do until then?  How do we live with this alien version of our lovely babies?

We love them in all that they do…and we practice and demonstrate tough love.

And it stinks.  It is hard.  When we punish them…we get punished.  I get it.  Who wants to hand out a punishment to themselves?  No one.  But, as parents we MUST correct the bad choices our children make.  They are children, they are going to make mistakes.  Heck, as adults we make mistakes.  Everyone does!  That is a fact of life and learning.  That’s OK.  How we as parents, handle those mistakes is where the issue lies.

If we do nothing and basically let them raise themselves because they are self-sufficient in so many areas…then we are doing a disservice to them AND to society when they are adults!  Just because they can bathe themselves, feed themselves, and not burn down the house when they are home alone does NOT mean that they no longer need us, our guidance, our supervision.  If anything, they need us MORE.

Why, you may ask?  Because as toddlers and younger kids they were afraid to defy us, their parents…to a degree.  As adolescents and teens they think they know it all and we are dumber than dirt.  (dumber than  a bag of bricks, I was told by my son)

They are figuring out who they are, where their feet belong in their circle of friends.  They are finding themselves, so to speak.  They think they are invincible and all grown up.  But they are NOT!!!

They may be taller than us, but they are far from grown up!  And it is up to us to remind them of that..lovingly.  We are given this gift of guiding our children.  We do not get to live it for them, but we get to guide them and share info w/them and help them navigate this scary thing called life.

And that is a parent and a friend.  NOT a buddy.