So many areas of my life have changed in recent months. Improved. They have been a LONG TIME in the making. Areas are more peaceful and calm. I am more peaceful and calm. Without going into details, I want to share.
My life was chaotic and crazy, scary and fragile. I was at a loss in so many places. I am a Christian woman; have been all of my life. But I’ve never been truly “connected” with God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit – at least, in my mind, I wasn’t. Well, I began talking to God daily, hourly, as often as I wanted. I talked to Him while in the shower, on the potty, in my car, doing chores, anytime I wanted to I talked to God. No one knew. I talk to Him in my head. Sometimes I would and do speak aloud, but most times it’s just He & me in my head.
In reigniting our relationship, I didn’t know what to talk about so I would thank God for a great night’s sleep, or thank him for showing me something that made me smile, I would thank Him for the sunshine or the birds in my little makeshift bird feeder. Little things. Nothing earth-shattering. Sure, I would pray for world peace and an end to horrors in the world. I still do. But this is on a more personal note.
Over time, keeping faithful, as I had my many “talks” with God, something changed within me. He, again, became my bestest friend ever. (yes, I make up words) He’s always been a part of my life, but our relationship was more here & there and mostly on a limited basis. During tough times, we all pray and I am no different. So thru the years when things were rough I would turn to God and when things seemed fine, I would barely chat with him. I have sine asked Him for forgiveness in that area – and many others. Now I go to Him with EVERYTHING…praises, thanks, desires, etc. You name it and I’m talking to my best friend about it.
As our talks became more regular over time, I began trusting Him more and more. More than the normal “yes, I trust you, God.” Many of us say that we trust God yet we continue in life doing things as we see fit, using our free will instead of leaning on God and doing things His way. That is kinda what I’d been doing through the years. So anyway, as I talk to God and pray I start feeling calmer. I start letting things go to Him that are completely out of my control – paying bills without money to cover them…things like that. Sure, I still was concerned here & there, but when the concerned thought entered my head I would shut it down and give it back to God. These thoughts will bombard you unendingly if you allow them. I stopped allowing them. That’s not to say that I don’t have a “care in the world” because I do. I am human, you know. But the big things…I release them and each time they come back to threaten me, I send them packing again and again until eventually their “visits” are fewer and fewer. Amazing. I don’t “borrow” tomorrow’s troubles. I have enough to handle today that I don’t add future fears.
Here’s the kicker:
Things don’t change just because you pray and talk more to God. No. Things started changing for me when I started LISTENING for His reply. If I was at a crossroad, I would reach out to God – talk to Him about it, sometimes over and over again to where I was almost begging Him to reply. Then I finally started WAITING. He hears every prayer so I don’t have to barrage Him over and over again. I will pray on a subject repeatedly, sure, but…you get what I’m saying. Anyhow, I started listening for His reply to my questions and prayers. And until I was certain that it was Him talking to me, I would not move forward with anything. If I heard in my head what I perceived to be His response, but wasn’t sure…I would ask for clarification because sometimes when we want something SO badly, we may think God is telling us something when in actuality it is really just our own mind telling us what we want to do. In instances where I wasn’t sure, I ask for clarity and then I wait.
This is not an instant process. It taught me patience (to a degree – I’m still working on that) and it taught me to better discern when God is talking to me and when it’s my own mind playing tricks on me. That could be Satan working there, I don’t know. The good news is that I learned to wait for God.
In doing this, so many things have turned around for me. I am a much happier, saner, a bit calmer person and I owe it all to my God of grace and mercy.
I know how much He loves me. I know how much He loves us all. He only wants the best for us but He wants us to come to him, connect to Him, love Him. Not once a week or monthly or here & there….He wants us DAILY. I give Him that now and more. He will not force any of us into a relationship with Him. When you are ready, you’ll go to Him.
I am not one who can run around quoting Scriptures and theorizing Bible meanings. I can run around telling people how wonderful God is and the mini-miracles He has worked in my life.
Start small. Give thanks to God for your daily blessings…your home, food, clothing, friends & family whom you love, your health, the warmth of the sunshine, the wetness of the rain, the colors in the meadow or in your garden, the fresh wind….everything. He doesn’t care how small it is…He wants recognition for all things that He is the one in control. He is.
I am thankful to be a Christian. I am thankful that I can praise and pray to my God anytime, anywhere. God is good.
PEACE
Pamtastic
