written a week or so ago…
Any loss creates feelings of grief. The death of a loved one. Loss of a relationship or a significant friendship. Loss of a cherished possession. They all create a feeling of grief.
Processing grief has five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
A person suffering a loss will travel through each stage repeatedly. You can even go through a few stages and then start all over again. Emotionally and mentally, you can be in multiple stages at once. Everyone processes grief differently and no one way is the “right way”. It’s not a competition so don’t compare yourself to others.
It’s not much fun, I can assure you. However eventually, the grief you feel will shift. You will learn how to live with the loss you’ve experienced. Life will be different, but it can be beautiful again after the loss. Give yourself time to go through all the stages completely. Do not force any of them. Don’t rush yourself. Let it happen organically and authentically. Be patient & compassionate with yourself. You will have questions but not always will your questions be answered. Sometimes we have to accept “just because” as our answer and move forward. You may cast blame – this is part of the anger stage. Be careful not to remain in this stage too long; for unhealed anger has a way of infecting all other areas of your life and changing you. Be careful here. Feel it but don’t act upon it. Never act on anything when your emotions are high and possibly out of control.
Self-talk is not ‘mumbo-jumbo’. It is effective and paramount to the healing process. You may find yourself very quiet, more often than not. It will feel different but go with it. Be still. Listen to your inner voice. It is directing and guiding you. Don’t fill your mind with noise and distractions. In the beginning, you may need distractions to prevent you from acting on your roller-coaster of emotions; but like the anger stage, don’t remain too long in the distraction phase. You cannot hide from it. You must face the loss to get yourself to the acceptance stage.
“You will NEVER fully heal until you feel.” (original quote from me) 🙂
PEACE & BLESSINGS
