Disappointments are inevitable in life. They are born from expectations. “Expectation breeds disappointment.” This is VERY true. However, I don’t know any human being who is without expectations of some kind. It could be expectations in the behaviors of your children or expectations of a great vacation getaway that falls short or expectations of time spent with loved ones that leaves you feeling flat. Expectations are everywhere. I know I have many. I do my best not to be attached to the outcome, but let’s be real – I’m human! I get my hopes up – sometimes high in the sky. When my hopes are dashed, I crash to the ground like a 747; fast and with an explosion of sorts. Guess what, Sugarplum? Most, not all but, MOST disappointments are self-established. WE become attached to the outcome or WE get our hopes up. No one held a gun to our heads.
You need to learn and practice the best way to cope with the disappointments that life will throw your way. Everyone handles disappointment differently. I think disappointments create a kind of “grief” within people. The grieving process has many differing & varying emotions to work thru. With the recent passing of my Mom, I’ve experienced the grieving process and, in some areas, I am still working thru some of the grief emotions.
Disappointment is a bit like that. Some people scream and yell while others cry and sob. Some people shut down. Some people clean. Some people sleep. Some people eat. Some people write. Some people sabotage themselves or can become destructive – emotionally or at objects. I’m a little of all of those and probably more. 
You cannot “get even” or retaliate. You must let the emotions move through you – Feel Them, Experience Them, and then LET THEM GO. Don’t hold onto them. They become unhealthy if you keep holding them. They fester like an infection and they will spread through you like an untreated infection and soon you will become nothing but your negative energy – all because of a disappointment. Don’t let the disappointment win.
The whole thing is a process and the process time differs with each individual, too. Don’t compare yourself to how others react and process disappointments. This is YOU, not them. And for goodness sake, stop apologizing for your reactions – unless they are harmful, in which case, apologize and then go get professional help.
For me, during times of disappointment I pull away, I retreat. It’s both a defense mechanism as well as a protection tactic. If I don’t retreat then I tend to transfer my emotions onto anything and anyone in my path. I lash out; so for protection of self and others, I retreat. Pulling away or retreating doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m angry (altho, I could very well be feeling that emotion, too)… mainly it means that I’m licking my wounds – healing – so that I can emerge in a better frame of mind, even stronger and more balanced than before. Remember, you control your emotions – don’t let them control you!
So, pay attention to HOW you navigate & maneuver disappointments in your world. Learn your methods of coping.
Are they productive?
Do they hurt others?
Remember — hurt people, hurt people…and you don’t want to be like that.
PEACE
